Over the last month our broken Spanish has led to a miscommunication or two...or ten.
Here are some of our favorites, in reverse order:
10) "Failed English"- Now that we've become fluent Spanish speakersour English is starting to suffer. Molly, for example, in reference to our discussion on one aspect of the future of this project just said "That's a whole other ball of worms." Good work Mol, enjoy that ball of worms.
9) "Puta"- a repeat mention from earlier in the blog. At Chepe's house early on in the trip, Suyen was telling us about all the swear words in other countries that aren't swear words here. Molly jumped right in with the only swear word she knows in Spanish...only to find out that unfortunately that particular word is a swear word everywhere. Again, tough call Mol.
8) "Tacos!"- another repeat mention. When 3 year old Carolina told us that she liked soccer, we asked her if she wanted some cleats, ie "tacos" as they are called here. She seemed so incredibly excited that we ran home to fetch the tiny pair of cleats immediately. Upon our return, a disappointed Carolina looked utterly confused as to why we weren't giving her yummy tacos to eat.
7) "Hand gestures"- This particular miscommunication is non-verbal. Around here, the motion for "come here" is the exact opposite as it is in the states. All of us learned this the hard way as kids constantly waved their hands violently, ostensibly asking us to go away. Finally the kids would give up, walk over to us and drag us back to where they were. It took us a shameful number of days to learn that the hand motion means "come here" and it is so counterintuitive that I still struggle to react appropriately.
6) "Cool-o"- Against all odds, the queen of miscommunication on this trip was actually April, not Molly. April knows approximately 2.5 words in Spanish, all of which she learned in the week leading up to her arrival. To compensate for her deficiency, she learned to add "o" to the end of English words in order to make them sound more like Spanish. In an unfortunate camp incident, April told a young girl she was "Cool-o" which sounds suspiciously like "culo" the Spanish curse word for butt.
5) "Yo quiero el mango"- Although another repeat mention, this one makes the top 5. At the same dinner at Chepe's house, his little cousin Daniela really wanted one of the mangos we brought, and kept telling Molly that she wanted it. Having acquired the habit of repeating what others say, Molly incessantly replied "yo quiero el mango" each time the girl said it. After watching the fight for the mango go on for four rounds, I jumped in and told Molly to back off and let the 8 year old have the mango.
4) "I am a good kitchen"- It is no secret around here that I am the world's worst cook. I've openly accepted my role, and try to avoid being seen in the kitchen at all costs. Our host Mom found it very funny when she asked me if I cook and I told her only Corn Flakes. Ever since then, she watches me like a hawk whenever I get within yards of her kitchen. One night, Molly left me in charge of cooking the rice while she went to shower. Granted, there was a rice cooker there to help me, but nevertheless I managed to screw things up enough that the host Mom did most of the work (who knew rice has to be washed three times??). When Molly came back to the dinner table and saw the tasty rice, she told me I had done a good job, after which I replied "yo estoy una buena cocina" which apparently means "I am a good kitchen." Host Mom found this absolutely hilarious, and I have yet to cook something without commentary since.
3) "Stolen goods"- April rose to the status of top 3 with her miscommunication at the last practice of the week, on Saturday. All morning, Mini-me was walking around with an orange pair of sunglasses on her head. April apparently thought they were Elise's sunglasses, and figured she'd be the responsible one, so she took the glasses away from Mini-me and put them on her own head. As we were leaving the field, a girl approached her and kept motioning for the sunglasses, but apparently didn't use any of the 2.5 words that April knows, because April returned home with the sunglasses still on her head. Upon trying to give them to Elise, she learned that the sunglasses were in fact the little girl's. Way to steal a poor Nicaraguan child's sweet orange sunglasses Apes.
2) "The longest walk"- Early last week, the Colorado College contingent of Katlin, Carrie, and Lucy set off with Chepe in search of paint in Masaya. Hours later, they returned sunburned, exhausted, and nearly late for the afternoon session. Asking what happened, they explained that they purchased the paint, and then proceeded to walk...for miles...slowly up a volcano. "The road just kept going and going and all of a sudden we were at the top of a volcano." Apparently Chepe thought that they really wanted to go to the Masaya Volcano, so he figured he'd walk them there after they got the paint...none of them realized this soon enough to tell him otherwise.
1) "You want to rent a bike?"- Topping the list is a story we've withheld for a couple of weeks, as it's taken that long for the wound to heal. Molly and I were strolling back from the internet cafe one night before camp, when all of a sudden I realized we were walking by Kathy's Wafflehouse, a restaurant we had seen advertised all over but never could find. Turning to see for herself, Molly was temporarily distracted from the fact that her wallet (with cell phone) was in her other hand. In that exact moment, a man on a bike flew by us and snatched the wallet out of her hand. We chased the man on the bike for quite a few blocks; at one point I convinced myself that another man on a bike was actually in the chase with us and would surely catch him. At long last, we gave up, sweating and tired, and started to walk back to town in search of the police or a phone to call and cancel the phone/credit card that had been stolen. As luck would have it, we ran into four girls from the team we are coaching, and figured they could help us figure out what to do. Not knowing the words for "wallet" "stolen" "robbed" or anything else relevant, we decided to re-enact the situation for them. After a few rounds of charades the girls seemed to get it; they got really excited and motioned for us to follow them. Ten yards later, the one that speaks a little English said "rent bikes?" and we quickly realized that they were taking us to the bike rental place. How our little re-enactment signaled to them that we wished to rent bikes is beyond me. We picked up our acting a notch, this time using the word "policia" and eventually they figured it out. Their solution was to scold Molly for having her wallet in her hand, again motioning for her to saw off her own hand, as they did when she committed the hand ball in the box the day before. A word to the wise: "wallet" and "stolen" are good words to know when travelling in a foreign country. Or perhaps the phrase "I don't want to rent a bike."
Here are some of our favorites, in reverse order:
10) "Failed English"- Now that we've become fluent Spanish speakers
9) "Puta"- a repeat mention from earlier in the blog. At Chepe's house early on in the trip, Suyen was telling us about all the swear words in other countries that aren't swear words here. Molly jumped right in with the only swear word she knows in Spanish...only to find out that unfortunately that particular word is a swear word everywhere. Again, tough call Mol.
8) "Tacos!"- another repeat mention. When 3 year old Carolina told us that she liked soccer, we asked her if she wanted some cleats, ie "tacos" as they are called here. She seemed so incredibly excited that we ran home to fetch the tiny pair of cleats immediately. Upon our return, a disappointed Carolina looked utterly confused as to why we weren't giving her yummy tacos to eat.
7) "Hand gestures"- This particular miscommunication is non-verbal. Around here, the motion for "come here" is the exact opposite as it is in the states. All of us learned this the hard way as kids constantly waved their hands violently, ostensibly asking us to go away. Finally the kids would give up, walk over to us and drag us back to where they were. It took us a shameful number of days to learn that the hand motion means "come here" and it is so counterintuitive that I still struggle to react appropriately.
6) "Cool-o"- Against all odds, the queen of miscommunication on this trip was actually April, not Molly. April knows approximately 2.5 words in Spanish, all of which she learned in the week leading up to her arrival. To compensate for her deficiency, she learned to add "o" to the end of English words in order to make them sound more like Spanish. In an unfortunate camp incident, April told a young girl she was "Cool-o" which sounds suspiciously like "culo" the Spanish curse word for butt.
5) "Yo quiero el mango"- Although another repeat mention, this one makes the top 5. At the same dinner at Chepe's house, his little cousin Daniela really wanted one of the mangos we brought, and kept telling Molly that she wanted it. Having acquired the habit of repeating what others say, Molly incessantly replied "yo quiero el mango" each time the girl said it. After watching the fight for the mango go on for four rounds, I jumped in and told Molly to back off and let the 8 year old have the mango.
4) "I am a good kitchen"- It is no secret around here that I am the world's worst cook. I've openly accepted my role, and try to avoid being seen in the kitchen at all costs. Our host Mom found it very funny when she asked me if I cook and I told her only Corn Flakes. Ever since then, she watches me like a hawk whenever I get within yards of her kitchen. One night, Molly left me in charge of cooking the rice while she went to shower. Granted, there was a rice cooker there to help me, but nevertheless I managed to screw things up enough that the host Mom did most of the work (who knew rice has to be washed three times??). When Molly came back to the dinner table and saw the tasty rice, she told me I had done a good job, after which I replied "yo estoy una buena cocina" which apparently means "I am a good kitchen." Host Mom found this absolutely hilarious, and I have yet to cook something without commentary since.
3) "Stolen goods"- April rose to the status of top 3 with her miscommunication at the last practice of the week, on Saturday. All morning, Mini-me was walking around with an orange pair of sunglasses on her head. April apparently thought they were Elise's sunglasses, and figured she'd be the responsible one, so she took the glasses away from Mini-me and put them on her own head. As we were leaving the field, a girl approached her and kept motioning for the sunglasses, but apparently didn't use any of the 2.5 words that April knows, because April returned home with the sunglasses still on her head. Upon trying to give them to Elise, she learned that the sunglasses were in fact the little girl's. Way to steal a poor Nicaraguan child's sweet orange sunglasses Apes.
2) "The longest walk"- Early last week, the Colorado College contingent of Katlin, Carrie, and Lucy set off with Chepe in search of paint in Masaya. Hours later, they returned sunburned, exhausted, and nearly late for the afternoon session. Asking what happened, they explained that they purchased the paint, and then proceeded to walk...for miles...slowly up a volcano. "The road just kept going and going and all of a sudden we were at the top of a volcano." Apparently Chepe thought that they really wanted to go to the Masaya Volcano, so he figured he'd walk them there after they got the paint...none of them realized this soon enough to tell him otherwise.
1) "You want to rent a bike?"- Topping the list is a story we've withheld for a couple of weeks, as it's taken that long for the wound to heal. Molly and I were strolling back from the internet cafe one night before camp, when all of a sudden I realized we were walking by Kathy's Wafflehouse, a restaurant we had seen advertised all over but never could find. Turning to see for herself, Molly was temporarily distracted from the fact that her wallet (with cell phone) was in her other hand. In that exact moment, a man on a bike flew by us and snatched the wallet out of her hand. We chased the man on the bike for quite a few blocks; at one point I convinced myself that another man on a bike was actually in the chase with us and would surely catch him. At long last, we gave up, sweating and tired, and started to walk back to town in search of the police or a phone to call and cancel the phone/credit card that had been stolen. As luck would have it, we ran into four girls from the team we are coaching, and figured they could help us figure out what to do. Not knowing the words for "wallet" "stolen" "robbed" or anything else relevant, we decided to re-enact the situation for them. After a few rounds of charades the girls seemed to get it; they got really excited and motioned for us to follow them. Ten yards later, the one that speaks a little English said "rent bikes?" and we quickly realized that they were taking us to the bike rental place. How our little re-enactment signaled to them that we wished to rent bikes is beyond me. We picked up our acting a notch, this time using the word "policia" and eventually they figured it out. Their solution was to scold Molly for having her wallet in her hand, again motioning for her to saw off her own hand, as they did when she committed the hand ball in the box the day before. A word to the wise: "wallet" and "stolen" are good words to know when travelling in a foreign country. Or perhaps the phrase "I don't want to rent a bike."
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